Maintaining your peace of mind may be the hardest thing to do in tough times. You may ask, is peace of mind really realistic and possible? Well! Let’s find out.


You would agree with me that peace of mind may mean different things to different people. I agree because at different situations and stages in life we all want something.

For a fresh graduate peace of mind may be getting a dream job and for a parent, seeing their kids do well is all the peace they want right?

I asked my friend “what is peace of mind for you?” and she said; “plenty of money and internet connection” Fair enough right? Money takes away more than half your worries.

In my own view, peace of mind is an intentional and purposeful state of calmness and control of worry and anxiety. We should understand that chaos and anxiety are inevitable in this world. So it is imperative to take charge and maintain your inner calm. so peace of mind follows when you put effort to keep your happiness.

What Gives You Peace Of Mind?

A source of peace differs from person to person I believe. I also believe that people have what they derive joy from at different stages of their lives. For some persons it may be having a long and nostalgic conversation with a loved one, working out, taking a long walk in nature, or eating a satisfying meal while laughing at a nice comic movie. For me, I find joy in my company, in my alone time, and in having a great sleep. Taking a long nap will always calm your stormy mind.

Whoever you are, we have compiled a generous list of ideas and ways to calm yourself on stormy days.


1. Accept The Situation.

It is sometimes said that the first step to dealing with something is to accept its existence. Accept that the times are chaotic and tough. This will program your brain to know the next possible step to take and deal with the situation calmly.

2. Practice How To Stay Calm.

Learning how to stay calm in a moment of trouble or unrest is not only important but, can save you from a lot of mental and physical stress. Staying calm will enable you to make the best decisions concerning the situation. How do I stay calm?

The best and immediately effective way to stay calm is to breathe in and out. Practicing breathing will help control your nerves and anxiety.

Some time ago, I had the opportunity to settle a misunderstanding between four pre-teens who were friends. Turns out that the issue was majorly between two persons, and by virtue of them being friends, the other two had to be dragged into it.

Between the two who were at each other’s throats, one seemed fierce and could say whatever without regrets. The second girl on the other hand could barely express herself, she could cry a river before saying a word. Each time I asked her to say something she would get so tensed, start crying, and say that the other girl is lying.

What I did was tell her that nobody would tell her own side of the story, instead, they would capitalize on the fact that she is not able to speak for herself. Then I told her to breathe in and out for about ten seconds. When I came back to ask for her side of the story, she spoke so maturely and calmly that you’d doubt she was a child. I was surprised and proud. Aside from the fact practicing breathing always help reduce tension and anxiety, her manner of speech was thrilling for her age.

Also, learning how to breathe in and out on a normal occasion will help you be able to control it when the need arises.

3. Cry It Out.

Yes, cry it out! If a situation is out of your control and you feel like crying, do not hold back the tears. You may feel vulnerable and may be perceived as weak, but there is no such thing as an award for not being able to cry. Tears are meant to be poured out. It is very normal and human. Instead of bottling up feelings and hurt, cry when you need to. You will feel better afterward. The important thing is that you wipe your face, pick yourself up and move on to the next chapter.

4. Communicate Your Feelings

Expressing your feelings makes you feel better. Find someone you can comfortably communicate how you feel to and have a talk with them. It may not solve the problem but may know how to make you feel better. Also communicate with God, your faith, What better person to speak to when there is chaos and unrest in your life? God right?

5. Journal.

Journaling is a great way to maintain your inner calm. Writing down your feelings about the situation is not only therapeutic but a proven way to make you feel better. Write down the bad feelings and importantly, what you are grateful for (gratitude)  When you journal your thoughts, you release tension and anxiety.

6. Find Pleasure In What Makes You Happy.

When times are hard even the most trivial thing can be a big deal. What should you do to maintain your sanity?

A way to help yourself is to engage in an effective distraction. Find pleasure in what makes you happy. Whatever is going to distract you from the chaos engage in it. Moments of joy and laughter can take your attention away from worry, and bring you peace and calmness. Watch a comedy show, call a gist partner, and play a fun game. Just occupy yourself with something to take your mind

7. Take Some Time Out.

When there is negativity and tension, it is sometimes better to take time out. Give yourself a break from anything that is going to further mess with your peace of mind. If you need to leave the situation and not talk to anybody at that moment, do it. Take a long walk around nature. Basically where there are a lot of greens fresh air and quiet. This is vital to think things through, re-evaluate your mental health, and wellness and get your whole shit together.

8. Lower Your Expectations.

I feel we should understand and accept the fact that people are humans and will always act humanly. People will disappoint you and let you down lowering your expectations will position your mind for any circumstance. Understand that things will not always go your way or as planned. The world is chaotic, hope for success or strive for good times, and prepare yourself for failure or bad moments so that when they come, you don’t get overwhelmed or drown in them.

9. Set Boundaries

Honies setting boundaries are very important if you want to keep your sanity and peace of mind. People would want to test how far crossing boundaries is. To protect your peace and your space set your boundaries and be assertive about it. I have tagged “difficult” because I’m very protective of people being in my space. Guess what? People will always have something to say. You should be able to find solace in your space and company, so set healthy boundaries if you love your peace and quiet.

10. Practice Forgiveness.

In my opinion, forgiveness is more beneficial to the offended than it is to the offender. When you forgive someone, you let go of any ill feelings, grudges and hurt you held against someone. This helps to release tension and worry. This is not a justification for people to continuously hurt you, when people continue to hurt your feelings, it is not you. It is a reflection of who they are so, the moment you don’t let their actions be an obstacle to your joy and peace, you are letting things go and you’d realize that you’re in control. You understand clearly and know that you’re doing the right thing for yourself. So for the maintenance of your peace and happiness be forgiving.

11. Practice Giving

There is always a feeling of joy and fulfillment that comes with giving or being a source of someone’s joy. Giving gives a sense of inner joy. It doesn’t have to be materialistic. Give kindness, positivity, time, or laughter. Giving is not only beneficial to the individual benefiting, on the other hand, giving evokes a feeling of happiness in the giver, boosting social connection and personal health. All of these are essential to maintaining your peace of mind.

12. Meditate

Meditation is a practice of focusing on a particular thing or mind as a whole. Meditation with mindfulness can help you clear chaos and tension from your mind and give you peace and balance beneficial to your emotional well-being and general health. Start by getting in a quiet and comfortable position, breathe naturally and let your mind wander.

13. Find A Possible Solution.

The last step is finding what could be done to mitigate an outbreak of chaos. There are some problems that cannot be solved by taking a walk or moving to a new environment. Some chaos go with you. For instance, in a pandemic, you can’t curb the situation by just meditating, hence you need to find a lasting solution to a critical problem.

inner peace

Can I Have Peace Of Mind All The Time?

People often ask if peace of mind is something they will always have and the answer to that question is NO!

You could say it is one of the ficklest things in life. Both peace and chaos are inconsistent but peace is fickler maybe that’s why they say good things don’t last forever.

Understand that in this world, there will be trouble, there are people who want and practice peace and there are people who do evil and give chaos. These two terms are fighting against each other so your peace of mind is something you should take control of.

It is your duty to find, protect, and maintain your peace of mind. There will be trouble and tough times but you have to make a constant and intentional effort to find your happy place and maintain your sanity. To have your peace of mind, you have to take charge of your space, the energy you let in, your mindset

How To Find Peace Of Mind When You Feel defeated.

As said before, peace of mind is relative, people feel at peace when they have financial freedom, some a roof over their head, and some, partners they can share their thoughts and fun things with. On the other hand, they are people who do not have all or any of these things. What they can boast of is air to breathe. The question then is; how do I find peace when I am at my lowest or feel defeated?

Well, there may be times when you don’t have it all or any at all but the important thing is; There is life until there isn’t.

You’re going to feel overwhelmed and defeated but do not surrender to that feeling or situation bundle it as an experience, learn and move on. It may take time to move on and let go depending on the defeat and circumstances you find yourself. A significant step to take to help you heal is making peace with the pain, circumstance, and situation. This means you accept the reality you have found yourself in without bias.

Release it from and renew your mind, move away, move on and occupy yourself with something new

The truth of this matter is that no one is going to hand out happiness to you neither is happiness going to fall into your hands. Your peace is yours to make, you’re in control, create your happiness.


  1. I love how you wrote ‘practice’ how to stay calm. Calmness truly comes down to being a practice. If people start looking at it as something they can get better at, they will ultimately master it.
    Thank you for this post.

  2. Lowering expectations and practicing forgiveness, and giving are the three that have had the biggest impact on me. Sometimes we just need to focus our attention on others to help us have peace of mind. Great article.

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