calming anger and anxiety problems


Denise! Why did you break the TV screen?

Because I was angry and I needed to let it all out.

So you took out on a million-dollar TV? Well, it’s a good thing you have a car, your car will be sold to pay for a new TV and all incoming allowances are on hold!

Lovelies we can all agree that the feeling of anger and anxiety is a natural phenomenon. We can all feel angry and anxious at different points in our lives.

We can also agree that most of the time when we get angry (especially extremely) and have no control, the outcome is usually detrimental.

7 Ways To Calm Yourself When Angry And Anxious.


Yes, breathe! You must have heard this a lot, but the honest truth is that it is the most immediate and effective way to calm yourself in a chaotic circumstance. Taking deep breaths in a tense situation helps you control yourself from the inside

Deep breathing is not only beneficial for your general health; it can help to control your strength when under pressure. It is an ancient technique used by monks and other religious persons during meditation relaxation and spiritual well-being.

Breathing is scientifically proven to rid of some illnesses. During breathing, you can get rid of stress, and toxic air, and better control when your angry buttons have pressed.


Affirmations and mantras are positive words or sentences you say to yourself repeatedly. It could be in the morning as soon as you wake up before you go to bed or step out of your house.

Affirmations have a way of repositioning our minds and consequently, we externally manifest these mantras. You can have affirmations for different occasions. For example, when tensed, you could repeatedly say to yourself “be calm everything is under control” The point is to have something that resonates with you and the situation.

3. Take Cold Water/Touch Something Cold

Taking a glass of cold water has the potential to calm your nerves because at this point you’re fuming, feeling hot and your batteries are heating a glass of cold water can be helpful in calming you. Studies have also shown that putting something cold or a bag of ice on your wrist when tense can help you down.

4. Stop Talking.

If you are in an argument where the conversation seems to be triggering you to raise your voice and get angrier or violent, the best thing to do is to stop talking. Stop talking and take deep breaths especially if it may result in saying or doing things that will hurt the other person. When you are calm enough to respectfully express yourself, you can talk it out.

5. Leave The Environment.

People and the environment can be triggering factors for anger and anxiety. The well-being of your mental health should be non-negotiable When you find yourself in such an environment, people, friends, or a partner, it is necessary to take a step back for your well-being. When the environment or people are no longer serving you, respectfully leave.

6. Express Yourself Through Writing.

You wonder, how is that going to work? Writing your thoughts down in a journal is very helpful in calming anger and anxiety. When you express your thoughts on paper, you release stress and bad feelings that you must have bottled up after which you feel lighter and less anxious when you don’t want to say things you may regret later, your journal is a safe place to do all your ranting and cursing. Asking yourself questions like; what triggers my anger anxiety? What should I do to have better control of the situation, will not only help you discover yourself but will also keep you conscious of triggers and how to act.

Journaling is a very powerful tool to discover your purpose, calm your anxiety, and also manifest. There will be a journaling series coming up soon to help you learn how to journal your way to your best life. Stay tuned.


Give Them A Warm Comforting Hug.

When a partner is going through some difficult moments or stressed, they pay attention to how you react or treat them when they’re not feeling their best. A great thing to do is give them a warm comforting hug. Let them feel your heartbeat and they feel yours. You can go further by holding their hands and squeezing them softly in affirmation

Acknowledge Their Feelings.

Nobody likes to be ignored by their significant other. When emotions. Your partner will only feel angrier if you act like what they’re saying or feeling doesn’t matter. Let them vent to you and get everything off their system.

Measure The Extent Of Anger

Being able to understand your partner’s extent of anger, their anger. This is because you have seen them get upset at different times and for different reasons, and have also understood how they expect you to act in these times.

Give Them Some Space.

By now, you must have known what works for your partner, If you are still in the first stage of learning about each other, it’s okay. Some people including me love to be left alone when anxious depending on the situation. If your partner likes to be quiet in such situations, it would only make sense if you figured out what needs to be done to make them feel better.

Be Kind.

Kindness melts people’s hearts especially kindness from a loved one. When your partner is angry or anxious, it is not the time to get angry too. Be kind and do those little acts of service that will put a smile on their faces. Kindly ask if they want to talk about it, offer them a glass of water, a snack food, a massage or even crack a joke just to ease the tension.

 A tip from a friend is to stay away for a while, send them a text cracking a joke, and their response or reaction will tell you the next step to take.

calm and collected


  1. I’m a firm believer in using affirmations as you mentioned. Switching our mindset about the situation is also extremely helpful. Thanks for sharing so many great tips on this subject!

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